From The Heart Of Pastors

Having lived the majority of my life in the home of pastors, I have seen the need for Pastors to share, as well as others to better understand our hearts and lives. I grew up as a pastor's kid (PK) and after graduating Bible College my husband and I took our first church when I was quite young. Come on in, make yourself comfortable, may the Lord bless and comfort you during this time (and always).

Thursday, May 26, 2016


  copyright(c)2016 Daneille Gray Snowden
Art by Rev. Paul F. Gray - Retired Pastor of over 50 years in the ministry.


The first time I saw this banner my own father drew many years ago, my heart sunk into my stomach. My husband, Brad and I were just starting the Pastorate ministry. I had grown-up in a Pastor's home, and saw this ugliness hurt my parents deeply.

Yet, their response was why I, even today could continue doing what we do in the ministry. Droves of people leave churches, pastors quit because of an ugly weapon called the 'TONGUE'.

Being we all are human, all kinds of emotions fill our bleeding hearts. It's how we entertain those emotions that is vital to healing and then victory.

Sins of Flesh arise over and over again in every home all across the globe; including the House of God. The 'great-ideal' would be- the individuals that battle this babbling tongue that strikes 'deep-pain'; could have teachable/pliable hearts and the Holy Spirit then will contain the HEART...thus the tongue would be tamed.

Yet, this does not happen quite enough does it. My own husband [Pastor Brad Snowden] and also my father [Rev. Paul Gray]; taught me a long time ago (when dealing with those who do spread gossip/lies about us and our church), is that we must first and foremost pray for them. Thus, not say a word, until it is 'for-sure' COVERED by the our own minds, spirit and hearts. Thus, our response - if there is one; will be that of the Spirit and not the flesh.

Secondly, when we do have to approach this matter - we do so tenderly and cautiously using the Wisdom from God's Word to guide us. Just recall our own Lord, when He said;

"But I say to you, do not resist an evil person [who insults you or violates your rights]; but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other toward him also [simply ignore insignificant insults or trivial losses and do not bother to retaliate—maintain your dignity, your self-respect, your poise]." Matt. 5:38-40

Thirdly, in dealing with the injury when this happens: The 'episode' can be a few minutes, and sometimes years irregardless ; there is injury isn't there? It's that deep wound that makes your heart sick.
1) That is the grieving of the Holy Spirit. It was never the Lord's Will for His Children to divide- but be One.
2) The fruits of the spirit were spoiled in this situation.
3) Grieving the loss of a brother/sister (spiritual) friendship-hurts.
4) There is nothing we can do about it. For it  happened, and come to realizing that we cannot control what comes out of the mouth of others.

One of my 'issues' is that I am a mother in many ways. I want to lovingly nurture and teach my 'children' to get along, forgive and move forward [meaning in the church]. BUT... it doesn't jive when the SIN OF FLESH, PRIDE, LIES & GOSSIP come forth.

A question by many pastors and their wives I get is; "What do we do about the constant lies that continue and even those who so choose to believe them?"
First of all, I don't have a perfect answer, for every situation is different. Yet, realizing this: it all does come from ONE PLACE (doesn't it)!
"You are of your father the devil, and it is your will to practice the desires [which are characteristic] of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks what it natural to him, for he is a liar and the father of lies and half-truths." Jn. 8:44 
Thus, we approach this as 'SPIRITUAL WARFARE' -- fast and pray. Ask others to pray, even without giving details (so you don't fall prey to the gossip as well).  I guarantee; in an amazing way and perfect time --- your heart/spirit will be healed. I have faced this over and over again being in the ministry my entire life; yet -
"I've never seen the righteous forsaken..." Ps. 37:25
By Artist Maureen Dean Order
here. [click her name]
Next, we have to surrender it into the Hands of our Lord...all the words, lies and definitely the hurt. This can be instant, an all nighter prayer meeting (smile), or day-by-day. It has been all three for me. Once it is healed (although the junk may be still spreading around) - I am covered, with my spirit lightened! 
It's true! I shake my head in bewilderment, knowing my own tendencies - and feel God has it all. Thus, I am able to 'HOLD MY HEAD HIGH'; no matter what is said and done. PtL!

Then, there are the 'meetings'. Yes, unfortunately; the 'official' meeting of the dispute does come at least 50% or less of the time. I rather go to a dentist...I hate 'conflict'- don't you? Who likes it? Well, unfortunately there are ones who embellish it. [SAD] How to?
1) Witnesses...get witnesses; your church leadership. Godly people about 3 to 5. 
2) Openness...hide nothing.  
3) Your leadership over you. In our case, a presbyter. This is if it hasn't been resolved. This is RARE.
4) Leave the meeting with a peaceful salutation. No matter how it ends. 
5) Some do not let it go...they want their way. If their way does NOT happen at this meeting; they will want then another meeting. [A tormenting spirit; that wants control.]  END IT!  You have done all you can on your part. 
* Prayer  *Openness  *Communicated  *Brought witnesses in  *Leadership was brought in.
6) Move on - be an excellent example to the flock & your family of God's Powerful Love.

I truly believe: "All things work together for good, to them that LOVE God, and to them Who are THE CALLED according to HIS purpose." Rom. 8:28

May the Lord bless, strengthen and continue to anoint you as you GO FORWARD-- ministering for Him.

If you need to talk, prayer just write me and I will be 'in-touch'!

Prayer For Pastors

copyright(c) 2016 Daneille Gray Snowden
 Prayer For Pastors 
By Daneille Gray Snowden


I feel the Holy Spirit guiding me to have our prayer warrior mom's to lift up our church pastor's. We all have many different spiritual leaders in the communities we live in, and they all need our prayers. My spirit aches deeply for pastors who are preaching the complete Word of God. Those who with  great unction plus compassion, speak in front of handfuls to thousands pouring out God's anointed message each week. 

   There is a cost, God does have an enemy who wants God's Word tainted. The enemy wants to distract pastors and parishioners from hearing the challenge presented week after week. As when a Pastor spends great time praying and basking in the Presence of God; then God leads them in unique directives for the church. The cost comes with an onslaught of attacks that without prayers and support, a pastor can become deeply discouraged to the point of defeat.  

   Each October, here in the United States churches celebrate: Pastor's Appreciation Day. It's one day a year, that the Body comes together to express their love to their spiritual leader. Can I tell you even though that is great churches do this; yet, daily pastors need everyone's prayers, love, support and help. Too many times pastor's are having to put messages together, counsel, be the substitute Sunday school teacher, youth leader, clean the church, host missionaries and evangelists and well the list continues endlessly.  Many pastors are also just wore out physically. [By-the-way; when I express pastors, the entire family is included. Many times the wife is part of the ministry as much as the husband. (Or if their is a female pastor vice-versa). The children eventually are right by their parents side, or sacrificing personal time, as their parents are counselling, and such.] Much of the time, spiritual leaders are THRILLED serving the Lord, for God has filled them with amazing zeal and abundant love for people. 

   So, why is it that 1,700 pastors leave the ministry every month? For some, it's burn out, as others have been deeply wounded in their spirits. From the beginning of time, strife has been a destroyer of families including church families. When a man or woman answers the call to serve a church, most of the time he leaves the comforts of extended family and good financial security to serve. Only God can stir a 'man's' heart to do this, He fills the ministry couple with His Love to the point that they can't wait to serve. Yet, as they do...eventually in some churches (not all) a  hateful spirit of gossip, condescension, and even apathy start sewing it's thread through out the church with the needle pricking the heart of a pastor. 

   In these tumoultuous day we all live, we see a new age teaching that has crept within the theology of the church. We also observe that church attendance has decreased as well; less than 17.7% of the population attends a Christian church on any given weekend. [source] As well as mainline denominations have reported a deep decline in the past 30 years. Thus, apathy has been an over-whelming difficulty for churches and their leaders. The feeling of disconnect from one another in the Body is a major battle for a local pastor to encounter. The more the disconnect, the less help any spiritual leader has to teach, preach, worship, and take the church to where God has intended. 

   Lately, I also have noticed bountiful attacks physically on pastors. Just within our own very small community, in the past ten years we have seen a few pastors pass away (fairly young), have cancer, encountering debilitating diseases and injuries. It's clear the devil himself is angry and is not letting up his raging war on the servants of God. Most of God's men and woman are dug-into God's Word, clinging tight to His strong Hand and looking intently to Him for all the strength and guidance there is. But, we as prayer warriors must never 'let-up' praying fervently for the pastors in our community. Praying through, being sensitive to the spirit to lead us at any given time or place to pray for these men and woman. In addition, reaching out to them as well...availing yourself to help as you are able. 

   As a co-pastor and a pastor's kid; I can tell you; we FEEL the prayers. We also can reflect through out the years and remember those who stood not just behind us, but beside us. We remember those who treated our children as their own grandchildren, or niece/nephew. We always lived far away from our own extended family thus; our church was and still is our family. 

  Jesus is coming oh so soon. We need a revival in the church of Jesus Christ; and we need our pastor's to preach all what God has for Army of God. To also, lead us with great vision to areas of ministry that will affect our community for the Kingdom of God. 

  Let's all make a commitment together to be diligent praying for our pastor's. As we do, God will fill us with such an amazing amount of love and even understanding the heart of a pastor.