From The Heart Of Pastors

Having lived the majority of my life in the home of pastors, I have seen the need for Pastors to share, as well as others to better understand our hearts and lives. I grew up as a pastor's kid (PK) and after graduating Bible College my husband and I took our first church when I was quite young. Come on in, make yourself comfortable, may the Lord bless and comfort you during this time (and always).

Tuesday, March 3, 2015


By Daneille Gray Snowden
  Sitting here, I am filled with awe on how fast the years have gone by for my family and I. Here I am a seasoned minister and pastor's wife; seasoned, and sometimes on the spicy side too! As a family, the ministry life has taken us to places that I know we would have not been to if it wasn't for the task at hand. The places can be geographical, emotional and mostly spiritual!

  Our ministry has taken us to four different states and a array of regions! Country churches to citified ones; ones who prefer hymns and others just chorus's. Many situations and places; if I had a choice beforehand, likely I would  not have choosen. The Lord has avowed us the opportunity to cross paths with folks that taught us about faith, sacrifice, diligence and service. Their hearts humbled me as their pastors wife and I absorbed their love for God; thus applying it to my character.

  Ah, MY CHARACTER...God does work on the character of Pastors too! We start off with much vigor and passion to lead the world to Jesus. Then, the bumps in the roads shake us up and get our attention. We lived once in Texas where we had gobs of cactus; one day my husband was preparing a location to place a church sign. He had to cut down a saguaro cactus; in the process it fell down on his head. I was pulling out needles for hours as he gritted his teeth in pain. There are individuals that are like the prickly cactus and when ya fool around with their lives; OUCH: 
STUNG BY THE TONGUE!  Cactus spines may appear like little simple needles, yet  often contain small hair-like needles known as glochids."Touching these even very lightly will get them stuck in your skin, and they’re much more difficult to remove than spines."  It is quite unfortunate; but true; humans bite! And sometimes they bite one's who are just trying to help. We see this, families, schools and yes the church. YET... when it happens at a place where there is suppose to be blissful peace and happiness; it quakes lives and everything is left dismantled.

  Like the cactus needles; the tongue when lashed at the heart of a person, hurts many times over. Even if the 'lash' (words) were spoken once. The pain, the memory- (the many needles attached to the needle) twist and turn pressing on a pastor, or anyone for that matter and thus becomes a serious traumatic wound within. Every incident is uniquely different from the other; but the pain isn't; it's real!

  Pastor and pastor's wife; it is at this place where two things can happen: healing or bitterness. How do you heal, especially when the hurt won't seem to go away? Or another incident arises again; that tongue that lashed out found some friends and so on? First of all, to give you a 'strait-out' answer is impossible. We all are different, the people in the circumstances are different as well. But, I can tell ya; to get healing. Don't allow this to will poison you as those needles from the cacti. As we preach healing messages to others, we can administer a healing balm to our own spirits as well: (which is) The ointment of God's Word, His Spirit and His Presence as we POUR OUT OUR HEARTS TO HIM!  That is the #1 most important medicine for this pain.

For #2 go to your partner in the ministry (spouse); share your heart and pray together. Get away; and find a retreat to heal. #3 Find a seasoned...loving Pastor & wife to share your pain with. I promise you, that they will understand with great empathy. Ask if they can be your 'safe-place' to come to when needed. Lastly, if you are still struggling; there are amazing counselors for ministers within your denominations, organizations and such that mostly minister to Pastors.

  I just want to encourage you; (because I too have been stung quite a bit) to not allow this to poison your spirit. That is one of the devil's objective in destroying the church of Jesus Christ, he starts at the leadership, and majority of the time: he works on the wife and children of the pastors. Each day, I plead the Blood of Christ over my family and myself. I pray that even more so when we go to minister at our church and also when we speak at other churches. When God is moving through us; the enemy is not stupid-he is always devising a plan to hinder the powerful work God is doing in lives.

  I may share stories in future blogs, for now though after 22 years in the pastorate; my hearts desire is to steer you to hope again. To zeal, joy and true happiness in the service you are in. It's difficult when pain has crept in for sure. I feel that our main priority is to be touched by our loving PHYSICIAN Jesus Christ; thus to be made whole. Sometimes, it happens in a moment, days and weeks. When it takes longer: (1) We may find that we haven't taken the time out to be made whole. (2) Haven't given the pain up to Him. (3) Possibly become co-dependent; not even aware we are wounded before it's too late. Again, we will dwell on this at another time.

  If you have been there, leave a comment-share your heart with us. I would love to hear from you. If you have a prayer request...anonymous or not; type it down and send it to us. We all will pray.

REMEMBER: You are not alone! We are all in this field of service together!


  1. Good article. Thanks so much! I've been a pastor's wife for almost 30 years and have been so grateful to the Lord for all He's done in my life. I just released a devotional ebook for pastor's wives and women in ministry - would love to hear what you think of it -
    Blessings, Marcia

    1. The E-book looks awesome Marcia. I pray it is used by many to minister in multiple ways and levels. God knew when He directed your well written words. blessings!


Thank you for leaving a comment. I ask for respect and no spam.