From The Heart Of Pastors

Having lived the majority of my life in the home of pastors, I have seen the need for Pastors to share, as well as others to better understand our hearts and lives. I grew up as a pastor's kid (PK) and after graduating Bible College my husband and I took our first church when I was quite young. Come on in, make yourself comfortable, may the Lord bless and comfort you during this time (and always).

Sunday, December 13, 2015


copyright(c)Daneille Gray Snowden 2015

 by Daneille Gray Snowden
(Ordained minister, teacher, Pastor's Wife for 24 years)

1.) Truly, most important to Pastors: LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE THEM, APPRECIATE THEM & PRAY FOR THEM.
2.) To see the Body they minister to is moving forward as ONE in Christ. Praying together, ministering together and even fellowshipping with one another.
3.) Pastor's want their children; 'LOVED ON!' Don't forget the PK! They need affirmation too, and love, attention + appreciated.
     a.) Small children: Colorfully wrapped presents that fit the age, and sex of the child.
          Ex.: My children received games, stuffed toys, cars, dolls, education toys. Them opening such presents gave them the 'feel' of being loved. Even today, my kids still have a special toy they cherish from certain one's in the church. Those folks truly feel like 'extended-aunts & uncles or gr.parents'.
     b.) Teens: give them music (Christian) - ITunes, CD's, etc. Gift certificates to a clothing store, Christian concert, restaurant.

4.) $$$$  you cannot go wrong with a gift of money. Some pastor's are struggling and will not convey that to their people. They do the best they can. Many sacrifice -- simply because they love the Lord & the people they serve. 
      a.) SOMEONE in the church must rise up and instigate a collective offering and card for many to sign.
      b.) Sun. School debt.'s (all the classes & teachers) per class put together a gift, offering & card for their pastors.
      c.) Woman's min./Men's / Youth -- contribute $, or just a card to show their love, support and prayers to their pastor.

5.) Gift Certificates:
   a.) Their favorite restaurants, stores, places you know they frequent.
   b.) Do you know if they use an online product for health needs...herbs, vitamins, foods?
   c.) Computer Software
   d.) What person doesn't want electronics...cameras, computer software, phones, phone cards...etc...
6.) Pastor's Wife: She is the backbone -- mostly the one who is creating, administrating, counseling, praying (& praying)...etc. Gift Certificate TO:
    a.)  to a hair salon.
    b.)  to a coffee shop.
    c.) to Dept. Store
    d.)  to a spa...for a massage
7.) Send the family on a vacation! A weekend away or a week.
8.) Send them to their Minister's Retreats through their organization/denomination. And or, the yearly ministers meetings and or conference to help edify them.
9.) Babysitting coupons for monthly date nights.
10.) Help pay for their car; or car repairs.
12.) Plane ticket, $ to rent a car to visit an ailing parent, or adult child far away.
13.) Give them love by organizing the Body to make sure each month of the year that a person or family invites the Pastor over for a meal, or brings them a meal. GESTURES OF LOVE.
14.) Congregation Pray over their pastors in a service (every once in awhile).
Clothes (including ties)
trinkets (those add up through out the years)

Saturday, November 21, 2015


"The difficulty is still caring, and being passionate when so many others 'seem' to not reveal that they care, via their actions & words.
Finding this can be done ONLY through God's grace, His strength & power. Because, in the human heart and mind; it sure is easy to turn away.
KEEPING FOCUSSED -- on HIM (Who is the Author & Finisher of my faith)." Heb. 12:2

from Daneille Gray Snowden
                Colossians 3:23                        
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,"
     Acts 20:35               
"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive."
   Galatians 5:13-14             
"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

Wednesday, October 14, 2015



copyright(c)2015 Daneille Gray Snowden

by Daneille Gray Snowden
Majority of Pastor's truly 'blush' at the thought of having a special month set aside to show them specifically; appreciation. Pastors for the most part, live daily in hopes to minister to the hurting, hungry, hopeless and so on. Personally, for us; it's a JOY to reach out and love others with God's Love; leading them to a closer walk with Him.
Pastors have been misunderstood for countless reasons. If pastors and parishioners alike would keep on the forefront of their mind; we are not perfect. We will not make the perfect decisions, or say the perfect word all the time; but, we walk humbly, with a heart for people. May all who know us, see that heart always. We may become tired and worn; but with the heart of God's Love we continue on, by serving others.
Appreciation means: thankful recognition,  estimating the qualities,  rise in value, & gratitude. To be recognized, even just a bit. 
Note how much there is value of a pastor today compared in the olden times; the Pastor had great notoriety, and was very much respected in the community.  God's Word was regarded more so as a Guide on Living out daily life, so those who delivered, and taught God's Word were valued. Prayer was essential, thus when the Pastor (& family) was called in for prayer; it was vital to people.
Yet, today the value of these qualities are not esteemed in our society as they once were. I remember as a little girl how proud I was to tell others my father was a pastor; and I would receive such positive remarks back. Today, the majority response is basically non appreciative.
-Cause God's Word is NOT the *Christian's Study Guide to life.
-God's directives on holy living is not received; for most have developed their own life styles (contrary to God's Word).
-Preaching the Gospel (the Good News...story of Jesus) is boring and just old hat, seemingly not applicable.
-Little Praying; although some do pray and are interceding or BELIEVING that God still heals, provides, & directs.
- Not Worshiping; Yet, through out history all types of 'WALLS' have fallen through worship & lifting Jesus up.
-Little serving others and unity in the Body of Christ; people are busy. They are distracted, the blinders of self are hindering the blessing of serving one another. It takes up our precious time, money or strength.
Yet, the call to Pastor and what his duties are, have not changed. Sometimes, the methodology may have to (as long as it aligns to the Word of God). So, with the above statements regarding the WHY's of there being less appreciation for the office of pastor - Pastors today are leaving the ministry by the boatloads. Their health has been attacked (due to stress), pastors are quite lonely, they are judged and live under not just one big microscope but many different kinds too!
As Aaron and Joshua were there to lift up Moses during his time of leadership in battle; today Pastors need more and more the same edification. They won't tell ya that; they will serve and serve till they are taken to glory; but deep within they just need simple gratitude.

 'What Pastors want for 'Pastor's Appreciation Day.'
1.) To be LOVED...accepted for who they are; including their wives & children.
2.) A pat on the back, hug or handshake acknowledging their service to the congregation and community.
3.) Affirmation (endorse, confirm): Confirm their message and service if you feel what they said or did was what you needed. [It helps to hear this.]
4.) Come early to church to pray for the service.
5.) Help clean the church, or mow the lawn, fix something that is broken.
6.) Bring others to church. Seeing the 'flock' reproducing means so much to a pastor.
7.) Invite them over for dinner.
8.) Send them a note of thanks.
9.) Do something special for their children & spouse. Many times their children do not live close to grandparents and other relatives. I still today call a lady in my parents church: 'Aunt Dorothy'. She was like an aunt to me, and still is today.
10.) Stay after church and clean the bathrooms + empty the trash.
11.) Pastors LOVE to go on vacation like most everyone else. Many times though their work is constant, or the finances are too low to go anywhere. As a church body; send your Pastor family off to a refreshing vacation.
12.) A financial 'love-offering' is a blessing. Pastor will never say that is what they want, but many times it could be what they need.
13.) Have a special Sunday where the leadership takes the service and honors their pastor and their family. [It may be quite over-whelming for the Pastor & family; but they need to 'hear & see' for themselves how much the Body they serve loves them.]
14.) Does the pastor need anything...some pastors may need a new computer, Bible, car or such. Investigate and find out... anything that can ease the burden will help the pastor do his job even better.
15.) PRAY! PRAY! PRAY for your pastor! Many Pastors will tell you when they can 'feel' the prayers working on behalf of the saints of God. They also can tell you when they need the prayer and don't feel the intercession for them. Although; God is faithful to carry them; the Power of Intercession is a must for ministers today. Satan is fighting with all his devious schemes to attack Pastors. It's painful, cruel at times and all pastors NEED the Body of Christ to pray for them.
16.) Stand With Your Pastor...especially when times are hard at the church. Don't do a disappearing act. It's NOT the pastors church...the body is comprised of all the souls attending...thus, we need to support our leadership.
17.) Don't just do this on Pastor Appreciation month, make it a habit to do it as often as you think of it. Encourage others in your church to do the same. This is contagious, and as visitors come in they will see a solid, unified, loving bunch of folks; thus they will want to be a part of it.

Things That Were Done For Us (to name a few);
*My husband's father was in a terrible accident far away, (20 hrs.+). The church paid for him to go be with him. The same as when there have been deaths, sickness in our family; they encouraged us to go be with our family (even if we had to miss a Sunday). THAT SUPPORT WAS COMFORTING at a very difficult time.
*Our first church bought my husband an entire (expensive) set of commentaries, and me a set of Tupperware. I was a young mother then and it was so nice.
*Special meals on a Sunday, with cards & $.
*A meal a day was made for us one time for an entire month.
*Each one got up and shared at a special service. They all prayed over us.
*Paid for date night.
*Watched our children.
And much more. We have been dearly blessed with very loving people in our churches. We LIVE TO SERVE, and being loved back just stokes up the passion to do more for the Kingdom of God! 
Jeremiah 3:15  "And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding."
 Romans 10:14  "How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?"

Hebrews 13:7  "Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith."


Sunday, October 4, 2015


 copyright(c)2015 Daneille Gray Snowden

By Daneille Gray Snowden
The call of God upon a man or woman, (when answered) totally breaths another type of life and even character into their lives. God's Heart is captured within, causing great passion for a dying world to be shown a way of salvation. As we pastors grow in our call; by serving others and spending intimate time in communion with our Lord; this PASSION intensifies greatly.  So much so, it becomes greatly what we think and talk about ALL THE TIME; which then causes our feet to move and our hands to reach out.

By serving others within this place, position, and opportunity is the mode that turns the wheels of our calling. We LOVE-to-LOVE others by teaching them the WAY of hope and life; this of course is by the Word of God being ministered weekly. We love to listen, be a shoulder for one's to cry on, and offer sound advice coupled with the anointing of the Holy Spirit.

As the world changes all around; in individuals lives, our communities and such: the Lord is true to giving VISION' for the ministry God has brought them to. The scripture; "Without a vision, the people will perish." (Prov. 29:18) is the energy source to compel the called man and/or woman of God to propel themselves into the Presence of their God. Why? For it's God's Vision (not man's), and Call for the Work in the Harvest!


Atlantic Ocean Road
As we dwell on this aspect, allow me to take you down a difficult roadway for many pastors today. They have this call, God's Heart-Beat pounding intensely within; yet their voices don't seem to be heard. God's Word is preached, prayer and fasting is being practiced, God is filling the minister with His blessed Spirit that gives great 'unction' to continue the work. Still, Pastor's telephone and visit, trying whatever avenue the Lord leads them to minister; and the response is not there. God's blessed presence is felt during the worship time in the service, the Pastor preaches (filled with love) with great affection and still; there is a deafening silence.

Pastor, if you are there; you understand when church is over you feel an aching deep within your spirit. With a gentle smile, hugs around the necks of your parishioner's and kind words (plus quick counseling sessions); the doors are closed and locked and another service is over. Or is it? We all know and do believe God's Word doesn't return void, He is working on everyone's hearts and minds what was delivered that Sunday. It's not over inside the Pastor and even their entire family either. All week long, this is the day you anticipate to be used by the Lord for lives to be changed for His Glory. Yet another service, is over;  seemingly, it seems fruit is not multiplying.

There are ministries where the Word falls on healthy soil and God multiplies the fruit that comes forth. These ministries are filled with intercessors. There is a loving unity that abides within the Body; where brothers and sisters in Christ are just that: a family. They find it difficult to say goodbye when it's time to part. Yet, many pastors (who are true & quite genuine in their love for God & people); are in a pastorship that see's little of what a healthy church has.

2 Timothy 3:1-5               
"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."
 Difficult passage of scripture; yet we all KNOW truly that this is in all the world; those who are "lovers of self - more than lovers of God."  The FRUIT of this is destruction; "It is the most destructive influence upon interpersonal relationships imaginable. It eliminates concern for the other person’s welfare and sucks the life out of any meaningful communication. It is the first sin of the universe, when Adam and Eve chose themselves over God, and it tops the list of sins that God hates" [Dr. Dan Hayden]

This self love has been the break down of the church. When we note that priorities are based on the factor of: 'me'; other's needs are neglected (including God's). How does this affect Pastors? Those who do not allow anger to fester, still do deal with intense frustration; who feel a gnawing eating within their hearts. To be frank; it is MISERABLE! God's LIFE GIVING SPIRIT; has led the Pastor (and his entire family) to a ministry to bring LIFE. But, it's just not being received!

Here is where the Pastor battles his own emotions of loss on what to do and how to reach out, thus that leans to sadness. Feeling bewildered, realizing God's Heart; a Pastor (who is earnest in his call), approaches each day of service only knowing one thing: BE FAITHFUL.  The difficulty lies, seeing one's self and their family in disarray. Worn, but knowing God well enough that He will take care of them. The Pastor asks God the question; "Do I I keep going on, year after year, with no fruit?" Saying to his / her Lord; "God, I want to love them with Your love...I NEED to be used of You to cultivate the harvest of souls. Help me, God: I feel as if I am slowly dying not being USED UP for You!"

Slowly dying, ouch! Not spiritually, but ministerially and emotionally. Do pastors admit that to one
another? I think not! But, there are several ministries (churches) that are in this very 'state'. There are some pastors too, who are feeling (as they long to serve) that they are slowly sinking and their feet are just getting heavier. The support in prayer, affirmation, and finances (sometimes)  is just simply non existent.


Seek out a friend, a godly man or woman who is truly in 'touch' with the leading of the Holy Spirit. This person may or may not be a fellow pastor, or minister but can also be one who is passionate about serving the Lord and others. Confide this to them, pour your heart out. Allow them to pray for you and be your confidant. We need this. I cannot tell you that you need to leave this ministry or stay. But, I can tell you; God see's your faithfulness to Him;
 "For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister." Heb. 6:10

Hold tightly to the fact your Lord has called you and He is faithful to His promises!

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9


Please, grab this friend and do this. Try if you are able to get time for refreshing. At this period the Lord may give you amazing strength and guidance. There is nothing like time alone with our God and family.

"Refresh my heart in Christ." Philemon 1:20


I know several aged ministers who have had those healthy, fruitful churches as well as those dry, unhealthy ones too. What encourages me as a Pastor (with my husband); is the GLOW on their faces (reminding me of Stephen when martyred by Paul) when they speak of ALL THE YEARS of ministry and how many (of their old parishioners) have come to them (even from those barren churches) and tell them how God used them (the aged Pastor) to turn their lives over to the Lord. And how, God blessed in that their families today are serving Jesus.  Ya see, we just don't know; only God knows. Hang on my friend, God is making a way. Meanwhile, draw strength from the WELL, being filled with His refreshing!

"To this end I labor, struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me." Colossians 1:29

Read the words to Rend Collective's song, More Than Conquerors :

"When my hope and strength is gone
You're the one who calls me on
You are the life
You are the fight
That's in my soul
We are more than conquerors, through Christ
You have overcome this world, this life....
...Nothing is impossible
Every chain is breakable
With You, we are victorious
You are stronger than our hearts
You are greater than the dark
With You, we are victorious..."
My friend; God is greater than our hearts...He is stronger...WE ARE VICTORIOUS!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Pastors; Does Your Home Look Like A Parsonage?

                                                                                                                                  copyright(c)2015 DaneilleGraySnowden
                                                                                                                                     All Rights Reserved
Pastors; Does Your Home Look Like A Parsonage?

Growing up as a pastor's kid, and now pastoring for 23 years; I find myself when I drive by a church I look for it's parsonage. I basically lived in one majority of my life. Some were connected to the church itself, many were right next door. Only a few (like the one presently I live in) are a bit of a distance away. There are of course pro's and con's living right next door to the church. Quite frankly, mostly con's.  Privacy being the #1 reason why!

Yet, when we answer the 'CALL' and become our current congregation's Pastor; we surrender our lives to be servants for others. Does our HOME look like a parsonage? Better asked; do our home's feel like a parsonage?

There is no deep meaning of the word (parsonage); it's a residence of a clergy member provided by the local church. IT'S NOT OUR, house; but it is OUR HOME. Now, "HOME (like they say) is where the heart is."  Speaking of OUR HEARTS; are they at home? With your spouse and children? With your Lord? Can we come into our parsonages, and feel at rest; coupled with great peace and joy? I sure hope so!

Yet, if we cannot find serenity within our own homes; then I must say; truly it does NOT feel like a parsonage. Our doors have opened to several who struggle with difficult matters in their lives. They walk in the door, sometimes in a panic crying or angry. Yet, when they sit down; we see God's Peace start to rest on them. Many have told us, there is so much peace in this house.  The blessing  is that we can tell them why. For it's our hearts desire for lives to be transformed and go back to their own residence and make a HOME that is God Centered.

Keeping the lawn mowed, maybe plant some flowers, paint the shutters and trim the weeds is all nice and good. It can make the Parsonage appear as liturgical as can be. But, if God's Presence isn't a part of the family life within this building; appearances can be deceiving!  I must say, I have followed pastors that the appearance was there; but the Godly home life wasn't. Being in the ministry my entire life, this breaks my heart.

One thing, for the life of the pastor's themselves; they have missed the 'mark' in being Whom God called them to be. This includes for them having a deep peace & joy within their own families. PEOPLE MUST SEE JESUS, (within our homes): "... Sir, we would see Jesus." Jn. 12:20 Seeing Him, we FEEL Him: His peace, love, strength, and even hope. We must be Jesus to our own family and then our family Be Christ like to others as they come into our homes.

Secondly, people within the congregation seem to loose a trust in pastors. There is not a closeness with the people within & without the church. So many also retain the wrong idea of pastors when God's rich presence isn't felt within the parsonage. When we (my husband & I) have followed this, it takes us years for many to see that God's anointed can have a loving, peaceful home (filled with the preciousness of the Holy Spirit).

If you want to start somewhere, or do a 'stop' and re-evaluate your ministry where you are; ALWAYS...ALWAYS start at home! With this method; setting your priorities in the manner of 'family/home' first; you will find no matter what comes your way - 'You'll not be shaken!'

"Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:" Matt. 7:24 


Wednesday, May 6, 2015


 copyright(c)2015 Daneille Gray Snowden
All Rights Reserved                   
Quotes From Authors J.D. Myrers & Jennifer LeClaire 

There is an unfortunate "no tell" norm in Christendom that most everyone has dealt with or will and that is the stink of 'being bullied!" Now, most of us can possibly recall when we were children and having faced an individual or two who pushed, shoved, and called us  names (and much more). I know I can say I've been there more times than I choose to remember  myself.
Do you remember how it made you feel? Hurt, alone, ugly, afraid, and intimidated to name a few- right?
I was a pastor's kid and now have been a pastor's wife (& co-pastor) for 23 years; even though I knew a bit about  Church Bullies when I was young; I can recall the feeling of  'bewilderment' when it first happened to me as an adult. My thoughts were, "How can a Christian say those things and treat another brother or sister in Christ in such a way?"  Hey, I still ask that one even today? The CHRISTLIKE spirit wouldn't ridicule or invert fear into another. Right???
No doubt each of us could tell some amusing stories that involve pain, hurt and anger. Many times it involves people leaving the church, including pastors. Now, I know for a fact that there are some pastors who are bullies; being in the home of a pastor my entire life makes me shake my head in shame. I heard someone even today quote this: "Those who inflict pain are usually in pain." Trying to see past this act and seeing the pain is difficult to do; but would help in the long run.
Pastors, board members, associates, teachers and so on in history have been the oppressors on God's People. The victims can be the exact same folks as well. I have belonged to a few pastor's wife groups, as well as have friends who are pastors who have been wounded time and time again.  
 "Bullies work through tactics like fear, manipulation, sarcasm, coercion, ridicule, cold shoulder, overreacting, blaming, using the Word as a sledgehammer, verbal attacks, gossip and the like." J. LeClaire

Read what author J.D. Myers wrote in;
"Church bullies are often people who love to be in charge. They like controlling people. They imagine themselves to be great leaders who are in a unique position to tell others how to live and what to do.
Church bullies almost always like feeling important and knowledgeable, be it about how the church should be run, what God and the Bible say, and how other people should think, live and vote.
Church bullies are very insecure. They think they are smart, buddies with God,
                                                         whose personal lives are out of control.
Occasionally we encounter church bullies who are actually mean, evil people, pretending to be otherwise because they’ve found a place (church) where they can get away with their need to bully other people."
 "A bully has done his job well:  taught that confronting the he/she is akin to punching God in the nose: .."

"Says bullies are: "Condemnation-heaping religious antagonizers who refuse to let someone forget past mistakes.
Religious bullies might run in the “right” circles, dress the “right way” and say the “right” things, but inside they are filthy, full of greed and self-indulgence! (see Matt. 23:15)"

How do we RESPOND to a bully?  Myrers wrote: *"Ignore church bullies."   *"Clearly tell them that their behavior (describe it briefly) is unacceptable and we will not tolerate that behavior."

J. LeClaire also suggests:
- "Seeing the spirit behind the bully. This is widely known as the religious spirit.
-  Pray that they be set free from the influence of this murdering spirit. Don’t get too emotional when a religious bully confronts you—and don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault and you haven’t done anything wrong. Religious bullies have emotional problems of their own, so don’t engage at the emotional level. Clearly, you are a threat to the religious spirit or you wouldn’t be a target."

Do stand up for yourself if the bully does not stop or repent. My husband and I have faced quite a bit of this, (note: when in leadership this will happen). Someone had bullied myself (and others) quite a bit until one day it became quite abusive. I felt the Lord's Hand upholding me to stand up for myself (of which I normally do NOT do). What happened later is not what I would like, but as Jesus did in John 18:23; “If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil; but if well, why do you strike Me?” He stood up for Himself to the hypocrites.  "Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. You can stand up to a religious bully without stooping to their level."  [J. LeClaire]
If the Christian Bully is no longer able to either fellowship at your church, or be in the same 'circles'; another form of bullying is gossip. Doing this to the point the oppressor absolutely believes the lies as truth, then he or she starts spreading them.

This fact has hurt myself deeply, and so many who have been wounded. Yet, like any trial we face; it's our actions that truly count. Someone told me; "Live as pure, holy and loving (with God's strength) that what they (those who wronged you) say is seen as wrong."

I ask the Lord the simple na├»ve question; "Why does this happen in the Body of Christ?" Quite simply the Lord responded; "Because my people allow this world, it's ways and spirit to take charge of their attitudes and hearts." So sad; but there is HOPE and it's in Christ by surrendering this to Him and vowing to have His Spirit live in and through us; bearing good fruits.

 What Not To Do When A Child Tells You They Are Being Bullied   by   Trisha Peach

Tuesday, March 3, 2015


By Daneille Gray Snowden
  Sitting here, I am filled with awe on how fast the years have gone by for my family and I. Here I am a seasoned minister and pastor's wife; seasoned, and sometimes on the spicy side too! As a family, the ministry life has taken us to places that I know we would have not been to if it wasn't for the task at hand. The places can be geographical, emotional and mostly spiritual!

  Our ministry has taken us to four different states and a array of regions! Country churches to citified ones; ones who prefer hymns and others just chorus's. Many situations and places; if I had a choice beforehand, likely I would  not have choosen. The Lord has avowed us the opportunity to cross paths with folks that taught us about faith, sacrifice, diligence and service. Their hearts humbled me as their pastors wife and I absorbed their love for God; thus applying it to my character.

  Ah, MY CHARACTER...God does work on the character of Pastors too! We start off with much vigor and passion to lead the world to Jesus. Then, the bumps in the roads shake us up and get our attention. We lived once in Texas where we had gobs of cactus; one day my husband was preparing a location to place a church sign. He had to cut down a saguaro cactus; in the process it fell down on his head. I was pulling out needles for hours as he gritted his teeth in pain. There are individuals that are like the prickly cactus and when ya fool around with their lives; OUCH: 
STUNG BY THE TONGUE!  Cactus spines may appear like little simple needles, yet  often contain small hair-like needles known as glochids."Touching these even very lightly will get them stuck in your skin, and they’re much more difficult to remove than spines."  It is quite unfortunate; but true; humans bite! And sometimes they bite one's who are just trying to help. We see this, families, schools and yes the church. YET... when it happens at a place where there is suppose to be blissful peace and happiness; it quakes lives and everything is left dismantled.

  Like the cactus needles; the tongue when lashed at the heart of a person, hurts many times over. Even if the 'lash' (words) were spoken once. The pain, the memory- (the many needles attached to the needle) twist and turn pressing on a pastor, or anyone for that matter and thus becomes a serious traumatic wound within. Every incident is uniquely different from the other; but the pain isn't; it's real!

  Pastor and pastor's wife; it is at this place where two things can happen: healing or bitterness. How do you heal, especially when the hurt won't seem to go away? Or another incident arises again; that tongue that lashed out found some friends and so on? First of all, to give you a 'strait-out' answer is impossible. We all are different, the people in the circumstances are different as well. But, I can tell ya; to get healing. Don't allow this to will poison you as those needles from the cacti. As we preach healing messages to others, we can administer a healing balm to our own spirits as well: (which is) The ointment of God's Word, His Spirit and His Presence as we POUR OUT OUR HEARTS TO HIM!  That is the #1 most important medicine for this pain.

For #2 go to your partner in the ministry (spouse); share your heart and pray together. Get away; and find a retreat to heal. #3 Find a seasoned...loving Pastor & wife to share your pain with. I promise you, that they will understand with great empathy. Ask if they can be your 'safe-place' to come to when needed. Lastly, if you are still struggling; there are amazing counselors for ministers within your denominations, organizations and such that mostly minister to Pastors.

  I just want to encourage you; (because I too have been stung quite a bit) to not allow this to poison your spirit. That is one of the devil's objective in destroying the church of Jesus Christ, he starts at the leadership, and majority of the time: he works on the wife and children of the pastors. Each day, I plead the Blood of Christ over my family and myself. I pray that even more so when we go to minister at our church and also when we speak at other churches. When God is moving through us; the enemy is not stupid-he is always devising a plan to hinder the powerful work God is doing in lives.

  I may share stories in future blogs, for now though after 22 years in the pastorate; my hearts desire is to steer you to hope again. To zeal, joy and true happiness in the service you are in. It's difficult when pain has crept in for sure. I feel that our main priority is to be touched by our loving PHYSICIAN Jesus Christ; thus to be made whole. Sometimes, it happens in a moment, days and weeks. When it takes longer: (1) We may find that we haven't taken the time out to be made whole. (2) Haven't given the pain up to Him. (3) Possibly become co-dependent; not even aware we are wounded before it's too late. Again, we will dwell on this at another time.

  If you have been there, leave a comment-share your heart with us. I would love to hear from you. If you have a prayer request...anonymous or not; type it down and send it to us. We all will pray.

REMEMBER: You are not alone! We are all in this field of service together!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


by Daneille Gray Snowden  
My cloudy mind floats back 26 years ago, when my husband and I were filled with the readiness to not step; but JUMP into the vast wide open field of Pastoring!  But, wait---NO Sir or Ma'am: it wasn't 'MY' dream or a 'CALL'. But, it was an open door that LED the two of us into an occupation I truly thought I would never  do.

Daneille with Pastor Daddy
Rev. Paul F. Gray
Why? I will tell you, I told God I would go anywhere, and do anything BUT: ...(you guessed it) PASTOR! Reason, I was a pastor's kid and though my parents were GREAT at it; it still had no appeal to me.  

My husband Brad and I, began our ministry in the inner city of Indianapolis, which was AWESOME! We then moved into working with children, onto youth and eventually as evangelism pastors. Then, the fateful reckoning came when a friend called and asked if we would consider moving to Texas to Pastor a small church. That was when our lives took a turn onto a journey of winding roads, up hill climbs and down hill rolls!
Our 1st Official Pastor Pic
  I want to use this blog as a safe place for Pastor's, especially their wives. There are a few places on the internet, to find simple encouragement.
I want to add one more. Being there countless times, has speared me to be this avenue for all Pastors, their wives and yes: their children.

 With my experience as a pastor's kid and having three children of our own; we all will contribute helps, comfort and stories with you. If you are one that would like to share your story, or ask a question; (contact us at SnowDen with the Fam' FB site) telling of your life in the home of a Pastor.

Meanwhile;  dearest Pastor & Pastor's Wife - know you are loved, appreciated and prayed for! That Your Heavenly Father is very pleased with your service to His Children. Hold on to this precious calling on your life; there is a shaking going on in the world today. People all around us need strong, godly leadership to be the support to thrust them to the Finish Line!

Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.

I Tim. 6:12