From The Heart Of Pastors

Having lived the majority of my life in the home of pastors, I have seen the need for Pastors to share, as well as others to better understand our hearts and lives. I grew up as a pastor's kid (PK) and after graduating Bible College my husband and I took our first church when I was quite young. Come on in, make yourself comfortable, may the Lord bless and comfort you during this time (and always).

Friday, August 19, 2016

THE UNTOLD SECRET IN PASTORING

copyright(c)2016 Daneille Gray Snowden
2016
THE UNTOLD SECRET IN PASTORING

There is an untold, yet known secret Pastors don't hardly share ; because it happens way too much and hurts deeply.

It causes pastors and their families to feel isolated, and sometimes ashamed. They begin to question; "What is wrong with me?"

This secret event causes the 'knee-jerk' reaction of backing away from close relationships, with not being able to trust others.

This 'secret' is: When people within the church get upset over
one thing or another; leaving their place of worship, in addition they stop talking to their Pastor's. They may continue relationships with others within the Body, but definitely not with the pastor.

In my own personal life (of 51 years) only one time in it, has anyone become upset over an issue that resulted ending the relationship. And I have never done that to anyone else.
Most people, because they care about the relationship they have; will try to 'talk-out' their differences and work on rectifying it; I know I have. Communication is truly vital; being open and honest with one another continues the friendship.

Yet, this is NOT the case when you pastor a church.

First of all, when a Pastor comes into a community (led by the Lord); he comes to SERVE. He comes out of Love for His Lord, Who in turns fills the Pastor & his family with Love for His Church. Thus, this shows in their reaching out in various ways and time. Such as: visits to the hospital, homes, counseling, praying with them, funerals, and even at the kids baseball games! Initially; becoming a special 'part-of-the-family'.
Pastors and their church body; laugh & cry together. Also they definitely pray A LOT together, worship together and even eat together!

Yet, when someone gets upset about one thing or another; it could be big or small; most people; up and leave without truly talking it through with their pastor. They may call others in the body; but not the pastor.

Some (not all) will not stop there either; they will go around and then speak vile words about the pastor and his family. This of course doesn't display the TRUE CHARACTER OF OUR LORD JESUS whatsoever. It displays the divisive character trait of Satan himself. [Harsh, but true.] John 8:44 

This takes me back to the SECRET of feeling a hurt by someone they served and befriended; then, in turn: abandoned so easily.
How is this not like what our dear Lord faced when the disciples abandoned Him as He hung on the cross? Oh, such strength He portrayed before all of mankind. The indisputable LOVE He showed as He hung all alone saying; "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do!" (Lu. 23:24) This wasn't just for His persecutors, but for those who betrayed and abandoned Him too!

The average within each church body of individuals doing this, ranges from 20 to 25% of the attendance. Let me tell ya, ONE is enough!
Thus, regardless of the size of the church; this happens all the time, everywhere!

This post is not going to be a : 'How To End Disputes Within The Church' - no, it's about the Pastor and his dear family.

_____________My Advice______________

FIRST :  KNOW THIS...Pastor, Pastor's wife and even children...YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And you don't have to look far either to know that.
SECOND: Pastor's, reach out to each other; share this pain! I guarantee you, that you will discover that your fellow colleague is facing or has recently faced this 'hurt' too.
THIRDLY: Ask the Lord to soothe your heart. Only He can do it; just plead the Blood of Jesus over this open (bleeding) wound. Speak His peace over you and your family.
FOURTHLY:  Ask God to help you not become 'bitter'! Big one! So many pastors, and even more: pastors wives and children; become bitter & angry. This will only DESTROY! Remember, who wants to destroy you, your ministry and possibly even your walk with God? Yep, Satan ...the sly ole enemy of our souls! By giving into this anger...he has a FOOT in the door of your heart. No...don't let this happen! (Eph. 4:31)
              -- If you have, ask God to reveal it to you. Then; allow the Holy Spirit to do surgery on your spirit. It will be difficult; like removing a tumor. But, it is worth it in the end!
             -- Let His Joy come in and fill that vacant spot...and see Him do a great work in and through you!
FIVE: Talk with your wife and children! Oh please, you may be alright, but your wife may be in pain (or it's the other way around). And as a pastor's kid (& having PK's); I can also tell you the children feel hurt too! I would go to bed just crying seeing my parents mistreated as they were. I knew how sweet, and loving they were and how bad people hurt them. It caused my brother and I to question the church of Jesus Christ. For we felt the punch too often in our family. Thus, have a family time; discussing the events that happened. And do this as often as necessary. Have one on one with the kids; get them to talk it out and you share your heart too.
                  -- I also encourage you to 'get-away' as a family and or a couple. To be refreshed and refocused.
SIX: Talk with your leadership and if need be others who have seen this happen. Be guarded with your words...make sure they are words led by the Lord and NOT the flesh.
Like I said before; communication is essential for a healthy relationship.

Pastor, Pastor's Wife...children; know you are not alone; we are
all in this together. Keep going forward; with the Strength of God...praising Him always. Look up, let Him become your all in all!

~Daneille (Co-Pastor for 25 years) 


Sunday, July 3, 2016

FREEDOM -- From Pastor Brad Snowden

FREEDOM
-- From Pastor Brad Snowden


Ephesians 3:18  "be fully capable of comprehending with all the saints (God’s people) the width and length and height and depth of His love [fully experiencing that amazing, endless love]; "

Thursday, May 26, 2016

PASTOR'S DEALING WITH THE LIES OF OTHERS

  copyright(c)2016 Daneille Gray Snowden
2016
Art by Rev. Paul F. Gray - Retired Pastor of over 50 years in the ministry.

PASTOR'S DEALING WITH THE LIES OF OTHERS

The first time I saw this banner my own father drew many years ago, my heart sunk into my stomach. My husband, Brad and I were just starting the Pastorate ministry. I had grown-up in a Pastor's home, and saw this ugliness hurt my parents deeply.

Yet, their response was why I, even today could continue doing what we do in the ministry. Droves of people leave churches, pastors quit because of an ugly weapon called the 'TONGUE'.

Being we all are human, all kinds of emotions fill our bleeding hearts. It's how we entertain those emotions that is vital to healing and then victory.

Sins of Flesh arise over and over again in every home all across the globe; including the House of God. The 'great-ideal' would be- the individuals that battle this babbling tongue that strikes 'deep-pain'; could have teachable/pliable hearts and the Holy Spirit then will contain the HEART...thus the tongue would be tamed.

Yet, this does not happen quite enough does it. My own husband [Pastor Brad Snowden] and also my father [Rev. Paul Gray]; taught me a long time ago (when dealing with those who do spread gossip/lies about us and our church), is that we must first and foremost pray for them. Thus, not say a word, until it is 'for-sure' COVERED by the Blood...in our own minds, spirit and hearts. Thus, our response - if there is one; will be that of the Spirit and not the flesh.

Secondly, when we do have to approach this matter - we do so tenderly and cautiously using the Wisdom from God's Word to guide us. Just recall our own Lord, when He said;

"But I say to you, do not resist an evil person [who insults you or violates your rights]; but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other toward him also [simply ignore insignificant insults or trivial losses and do not bother to retaliate—maintain your dignity, your self-respect, your poise]." Matt. 5:38-40

Thirdly, in dealing with the injury when this happens: The 'episode' can be a few minutes, and sometimes years irregardless ; there is injury isn't there? It's that deep wound that makes your heart sick.
1) That is the grieving of the Holy Spirit. It was never the Lord's Will for His Children to divide- but be One.
2) The fruits of the spirit were spoiled in this situation.
3) Grieving the loss of a brother/sister (spiritual) friendship-hurts.
4) There is nothing we can do about it. For it  happened, and come to realizing that we cannot control what comes out of the mouth of others.

One of my 'issues' is that I am a mother in many ways. I want to lovingly nurture and teach my 'children' to get along, forgive and move forward [meaning in the church]. BUT... it doesn't jive when the SIN OF FLESH, PRIDE, LIES & GOSSIP come forth.

A question by many pastors and their wives I get is; "What do we do about the constant lies that continue and even those who so choose to believe them?"
First of all, I don't have a perfect answer, for every situation is different. Yet, realizing this: it all does come from ONE PLACE (doesn't it)!
'LIES ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL!'
"You are of your father the devil, and it is your will to practice the desires [which are characteristic] of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks what it natural to him, for he is a liar and the father of lies and half-truths." Jn. 8:44 
Thus, we approach this as 'SPIRITUAL WARFARE' -- fast and pray. Ask others to pray, even without giving details (so you don't fall prey to the gossip as well).  I guarantee; in an amazing way and perfect time --- your heart/spirit will be healed. I have faced this over and over again being in the ministry my entire life; yet -
"I've never seen the righteous forsaken..." Ps. 37:25
By Artist Maureen Dean Order
here. [click her name]
Next, we have to surrender it into the Hands of our Lord...all the words, lies and definitely the hurt. This can be instant, an all nighter prayer meeting (smile), or day-by-day. It has been all three for me. Once it is healed (although the junk may be still spreading around) - I am covered, with my spirit lightened! 
It's true! I shake my head in bewilderment, knowing my own tendencies - and feel God has it all. Thus, I am able to 'HOLD MY HEAD HIGH'; no matter what is said and done. PtL!

Then, there are the 'meetings'. Yes, unfortunately; the 'official' meeting of the dispute does come at least 50% or less of the time. I rather go to a dentist...I hate 'conflict'- don't you? Who likes it? Well, unfortunately there are ones who embellish it. [SAD] How to?
1) Witnesses...get witnesses; your church leadership. Godly people about 3 to 5. 
2) Openness...hide nothing.  
3) Your leadership over you. In our case, a presbyter. This is if it hasn't been resolved. This is RARE.
4) Leave the meeting with a peaceful salutation. No matter how it ends. 
5) Some do not let it go...they want their way. If their way does NOT happen at this meeting; they will want then another meeting. [A tormenting spirit; that wants control.]  END IT!  You have done all you can on your part. 
* Prayer  *Openness  *Communicated  *Brought witnesses in  *Leadership was brought in.
YOU'RE DONE!
6) Move on - be an excellent example to the flock & your family of God's Powerful Love.

I truly believe: "All things work together for good, to them that LOVE God, and to them Who are THE CALLED according to HIS purpose." Rom. 8:28

May the Lord bless, strengthen and continue to anoint you as you GO FORWARD-- ministering for Him.

If you need to talk, prayer just write me and I will be 'in-touch'!
~Daneille
   


























Prayer For Pastors

copyright(c) 2016 Daneille Gray Snowden
2016
 Prayer For Pastors 
By Daneille Gray Snowden


BLOG SITE/AN ARTICLE I WROTE:

I feel the Holy Spirit guiding me to have our prayer warrior mom's to lift up our church pastor's. We all have many different spiritual leaders in the communities we live in, and they all need our prayers. My spirit aches deeply for pastors who are preaching the complete Word of God. Those who with  great unction plus compassion, speak in front of handfuls to thousands pouring out God's anointed message each week. 

   There is a cost, God does have an enemy who wants God's Word tainted. The enemy wants to distract pastors and parishioners from hearing the challenge presented week after week. As when a Pastor spends great time praying and basking in the Presence of God; then God leads them in unique directives for the church. The cost comes with an onslaught of attacks that without prayers and support, a pastor can become deeply discouraged to the point of defeat.  

   Each October, here in the United States churches celebrate: Pastor's Appreciation Day. It's one day a year, that the Body comes together to express their love to their spiritual leader. Can I tell you even though that is great churches do this; yet, daily pastors need everyone's prayers, love, support and help. Too many times pastor's are having to put messages together, counsel, be the substitute Sunday school teacher, youth leader, clean the church, host missionaries and evangelists and well the list continues endlessly.  Many pastors are also just wore out physically. [By-the-way; when I express pastors, the entire family is included. Many times the wife is part of the ministry as much as the husband. (Or if their is a female pastor vice-versa). The children eventually are right by their parents side, or sacrificing personal time, as their parents are counselling, and such.] Much of the time, spiritual leaders are THRILLED serving the Lord, for God has filled them with amazing zeal and abundant love for people. 


   So, why is it that 1,700 pastors leave the ministry every month? For some, it's burn out, as others have been deeply wounded in their spirits. From the beginning of time, strife has been a destroyer of families including church families. When a man or woman answers the call to serve a church, most of the time he leaves the comforts of extended family and good financial security to serve. Only God can stir a 'man's' heart to do this, He fills the ministry couple with His Love to the point that they can't wait to serve. Yet, as they do...eventually in some churches (not all) a  hateful spirit of gossip, condescension, and even apathy start sewing it's thread through out the church with the needle pricking the heart of a pastor. 

   In these tumoultuous day we all live, we see a new age teaching that has crept within the theology of the church. We also observe that church attendance has decreased as well; less than 17.7% of the population attends a Christian church on any given weekend. [source] As well as mainline denominations have reported a deep decline in the past 30 years. Thus, apathy has been an over-whelming difficulty for churches and their leaders. The feeling of disconnect from one another in the Body is a major battle for a local pastor to encounter. The more the disconnect, the less help any spiritual leader has to teach, preach, worship, and take the church to where God has intended. 

   Lately, I also have noticed bountiful attacks physically on pastors. Just within our own very small community, in the past ten years we have seen a few pastors pass away (fairly young), have cancer, encountering debilitating diseases and injuries. It's clear the devil himself is angry and is not letting up his raging war on the servants of God. Most of God's men and woman are dug-into God's Word, clinging tight to His strong Hand and looking intently to Him for all the strength and guidance there is. But, we as prayer warriors must never 'let-up' praying fervently for the pastors in our community. Praying through, being sensitive to the spirit to lead us at any given time or place to pray for these men and woman. In addition, reaching out to them as well...availing yourself to help as you are able. 

   As a co-pastor and a pastor's kid; I can tell you; we FEEL the prayers. We also can reflect through out the years and remember those who stood not just behind us, but beside us. We remember those who treated our children as their own grandchildren, or niece/nephew. We always lived far away from our own extended family thus; our church was and still is our family. 

  Jesus is coming oh so soon. We need a revival in the church of Jesus Christ; and we need our pastor's to preach all what God has for Army of God. To also, lead us with great vision to areas of ministry that will affect our community for the Kingdom of God. 

  Let's all make a commitment together to be diligent praying for our pastor's. As we do, God will fill us with such an amazing amount of love and even understanding the heart of a pastor. 

   

Friday, January 1, 2016

Positives Of Being A Pastors Kid

Our daughter Felecia just started a new blog for pastor's kids. She just graduated high school and is on the road to a new life in Christ. We hope this bless you. Do click on the link provided, taking you to her page.
 
Positives Of Being A Pastors Kid
by Felecia Mary Snowden  

"Many times when Pastor's kids talk about what it's like to live with that title, we tend to exploit the negatives; but rarely think of the many positives that come with it! There are so many different characteristics that we develop, sometimes without even noticing. Most of these, are......"  CLICK HERE 
 
 

Sunday, December 13, 2015

WHAT PASTOR'S WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS

copyright(c)Daneille Gray Snowden 2015

WHAT PASTOR'S WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS
 by Daneille Gray Snowden
(Ordained minister, teacher, Pastor's Wife for 24 years)

1.) Truly, most important to Pastors: LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE THEM, APPRECIATE THEM & PRAY FOR THEM.
 
2.) To see the Body they minister to is moving forward as ONE in Christ. Praying together, ministering together and even fellowshipping with one another.
 
3.) Pastor's want their children; 'LOVED ON!' Don't forget the PK! They need affirmation too, and love, attention + appreciated.
     a.) Small children: Colorfully wrapped presents that fit the age, and sex of the child.
          Ex.: My children received games, stuffed toys, cars, dolls, education toys. Them opening such presents gave them the 'feel' of being loved. Even today, my kids still have a special toy they cherish from certain one's in the church. Those folks truly feel like 'extended-aunts & uncles or gr.parents'.
     b.) Teens: give them music (Christian) - ITunes, CD's, etc. Gift certificates to a clothing store, Christian concert, restaurant.

4.) $$$$  you cannot go wrong with a gift of money. Some pastor's are struggling and will not convey that to their people. They do the best they can. Many sacrifice -- simply because they love the Lord & the people they serve. 
      a.) SOMEONE in the church must rise up and instigate a collective offering and card for many to sign.
      b.) Sun. School debt.'s (all the classes & teachers) per class put together a gift, offering & card for their pastors.
      c.) Woman's min./Men's / Youth -- contribute $, or just a card to show their love, support and prayers to their pastor.
 


5.) Gift Certificates:
   a.) Their favorite restaurants, stores, places you know they frequent.
   b.) Do you know if they use an online product for health needs...herbs, vitamins, foods?
   c.) Computer Software
   d.) What person doesn't want electronics...cameras, computer software, phones, phone cards...etc...
 
6.) Pastor's Wife: She is the backbone -- mostly the one who is creating, administrating, counseling, praying (& praying)...etc. Gift Certificate TO:
    a.)  to a hair salon.
    b.)  to a coffee shop.
    c.) to Dept. Store
    d.)  to a spa...for a massage
   
7.) Send the family on a vacation! A weekend away or a week.
 
8.) Send them to their Minister's Retreats through their organization/denomination. And or, the yearly ministers meetings and or conference to help edify them.
 
9.) Babysitting coupons for monthly date nights.
 
10.) Help pay for their car; or car repairs.
 
12.) Plane ticket, $ to rent a car to visit an ailing parent, or adult child far away.
 
13.) Give them love by organizing the Body to make sure each month of the year that a person or family invites the Pastor over for a meal, or brings them a meal. GESTURES OF LOVE.
 
14.) Congregation Pray over their pastors in a service (every once in awhile).
 
NOT GET
Clothes (including ties)
alcohol
trinkets (those add up through out the years)
CD's
Books


Saturday, November 21, 2015

KEEP CARING PASTOR!


    KEEP CARING PASTOR! 
"The difficulty is still caring, and being passionate when so many others 'seem' to not reveal that they care, via their actions & words.
Finding this can be done ONLY through God's grace, His strength & power. Because, in the human heart and mind; it sure is easy to turn away.
KEEPING FOCUSSED -- on HIM (Who is the Author & Finisher of my faith)." Heb. 12:2

from Daneille Gray Snowden
 
 
 
                Colossians 3:23                        
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,"
     Acts 20:35               
"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive."
   Galatians 5:13-14             
"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."